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What’s Your Perspective? 

By Joey Havens

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Head buried in sand

We have a 36-inch sectional fence across our driveway to keep Oliver, our five-pound Yorkie, safe as he loves to check out the neighborhood on his own. His latest reel on Instagram (@OliverJeanHavens) got over thirteen thousand views as he is pretty full of himself and loves people, especially kids. The fence has become a playground for the young kids and a few neighborhood dogs as they come over to play with Oliver. Let’s just say it gets a lot of use. 

I originally installed this fence with each section held together with a steel rod and these same rods serve as stakes to secure the fence to the ground. Over time, the fence has become less than stable and more difficult to move or re-secure as we leave or return to the house. CeCe has been (she can be really persistent) making observations that the fence needs a redo at a minimum.  

Yesterday it went like this:

CeCe: Will you please work on the fence or let’s get a new one with an electronic gate?

Me: I just straightened it last night and hammered the stakes in again. It’s working fine.  

CeCe: Really? It doesn’t appear to be that stable and I am tired of fighting it every time I leave the house.  

Me: It’s fine and it only takes a minute to put the steel rod back in the middle after you leave. I straightened it also.

CeCe: It is not sturdy enough and too cumbersome. 

Today as I drive up late in the afternoon, CeCe is sitting on the pavement putting plastic ties on the gate sections that cover the driveway itself.  

What’s going on?  

CeCe: I have fixed this fence since you could not get past your denial of what shape it was in. 

Wow, that stung. I had to admit, the fence was straighter, stronger and the sections that open flowed extremely well. She had put bigger stakes on the sections to secure them to the ground and on the moving sections, she strengthened them with the plastic ties.  

Checkmate. I swallowed my pride and complimented her on the great job she had done.  

Let’s not explore any more of that conversation as I have shared in past blogs CeCe’s criticality can be rather lethal. 

DENIAL. Being closed-minded, clinging to denial prevents us from learning new things, and seeing the perspectives of others and slows our growth to #beEvenBetter. 

We know when we are in denial. We pretend to be skeptics or maybe passive listeners, yet we know we are not changing our minds. We pretend because it makes us look like we are team players or open-minded, willing to change and grow. A true skeptic will consider the facts and perspectives of others as they move to accept changes or change perspectives.  

Being a skeptic is a strength. We need skeptics on every team. But denial holds everyone back, especially ourselves.   

We naturally resist changing our perspectives and beliefs. Our growing edge is to push to have a true open mindset where we take new information, facts, and perspectives and challenge our assumptions and beliefs while having the self-awareness to know when we are simply buried in denial. Not everyone has CeCe to help them see these things. 

What’s your perspective?