I always dread the blog ideas that I know will get me in trouble with CeCe, who teaches me more than I’ve ever taught her. Yet, as you know from time to time, I ease out on this thin ice. My courage likely comes from a recent event where I was trying to plan something for us that required actual planning, booking, and commitment fairly early. This was compounded by an invitation to go to dinner with another couple that very evening.
The answer to both? The dreaded “Maybe.”
I mean, what can you do with that? It’s like trying to build a house on quicksand or planning a picnic during tornado season. Maybe leaves everyone hanging, including yourself.
Now, since I’m skating on thin ice here, let’s move closer to shore and discuss why “maybe” is hazardous for each of us.
The Power of “No” (And Why We’re Afraid to Use It)
Let me start with NO. “No” is a fantastic option and the right answer more often than we want to admit. Yet we struggle to say no, whether it’s work, family, or play.
How do our schedules and calendars get too full? By never saying no. How often do we find ourselves tied up in something we really don’t care about or even enjoy? You guessed it — by avoiding that simple two-letter word.
Here’s my first insight: Start with “no” in mind and make yourself work toward “yes.”
Think about it. When someone asks you to do something, your gut reaction is usually pretty accurate. That split-second feeling tells you whether this opportunity aligns with your priorities, values, and capacity. But instead of trusting that instinct, we default to “maybe” because it feels polite, keeps our options open, and avoids potential conflict.
The problem? We end up committed to things we never really wanted to do in the first place.
“Yes” Should Mean Something
Yes is easy, and we should only use it when we mean it — when we are genuinely committed. When you say yes, you’re not just agreeing to show up. You’re agreeing to bring your full presence, energy, and attention to whatever you’ve committed to.
That dinner invitation? If you’re excited about spending time with those people, say yes immediately. If you’re dreading it or only considering it out of obligation, that’s your cue to politely decline.
That work project? If it aligns with your goals and you have the bandwidth to do it well, say yes. If you’re already overwhelmed or it doesn’t move the needle on what matters to you, say no.
Your “yes” becomes more valuable when you don’t hand it out like candy on Halloween.
The Paralysis of Maybe
Maybe is paralysis. When you constantly have to revisit decisions based on maybe, you can become exhausted before you ever say no or yes.
Have you ever considered that you make more forward motion with no than you do with maybe? Maybe results in no progress or commitment, and brings on the stress of revisiting the opportunity over and over again.
Let’s break down what happens when you default to maybe:
You stress yourself out. Every maybe sits in the back of your mind like an unfinished task. You’ll think about it while brushing your teeth, during your commute, and right before you fall asleep. It’s mental clutter.
You stress other people out. The person who invited you can’t plan properly. They don’t know if they need to make a reservation for four or six people. They can’t move forward with confidence.
You miss better opportunities. While you’re sitting in maybe-land, other opportunities come and go. You can’t say yes to the thing you actually want because you’re still holding space for the thing you’re unsure about.
You make weaker commitments. When you finally do decide, you’re often less enthusiastic than you would have been if you’d made a clear decision from the start.
The Art of the Quick Decision
Here’s what I’ve learned: The best decisions are often the fastest ones. Not reckless decisions, but decisions made from a place of clarity about your priorities and values.
Before you respond to any invitation or opportunity, ask yourself:
Does this align with what matters most to me right now?
Do I have the time and energy to show up fully?
Will I be glad I said yes to this a week from now?
If the answer to any of these questions is no, then your answer should be no too. If they’re all yes, then say yes with enthusiasm.
Moving Forward With Clarity
Remember: Start with no, work toward yes, and skip maybe altogether.
The next time someone asks you to do something, resist the urge to say maybe. Take a moment to check in with yourself, then give them a clear answer. You’ll be amazed at how much mental space this frees up and how much more you enjoy the things you actually say yes to.
Trust me on this one — even if CeCe disagrees with my delivery, she can’t argue with the results.
If you want to be part of building something bigger than yourself, this book is a great place to start! Jon Gordon on Leading with Significance
Grab your copy of Leading with Significance to find more magnetic insights to help you on your unique journey.
For more information on my presentations or to access my beBetter blog library go to joeyhavens.com.
