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Truth-Tellers Are a Gift

By Joey Havens

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Today, February 3, CeCe and I celebrate our 20th anniversary. Hopefully, and Lord willing, as you read this, we are on the beach checking off one of our “bucket list” destinations in St. Lucia. I’ve just finished writing CeCe’s anniversary card. Now I could share the card’s contents with you, but that would be the end of my beBetter blog and ME! CeCe is such a great sport to provide me the liberty to share some of her experiences, both good and bad, so I want to be careful and not get too loose with the stories. 

There are two comments in the card that I think could help each of us to #beEvenBetter.  

“CeCe, over these past 20 years you have made me a better person.” What a true statement! Now on the funny side, CeCe has been known to exhibit a “high criticality” factor that she shares with my friend and colleague, Bruce Walt. They love to get together and share their insights  which usually get headed in my direction. Let’s just say it’s hard to have a blind spot at home. 

CeCe is my truth-teller, and we all need truth-tellers in our lives to #beEvenBetter. Some of her best and most effective feedback is, “You are going to regret that tomorrow.” 

Why is this so effective? Because it forces me to reflect rather than allowing me to feel judged and play the victim. I’m thankful for her honesty as she always has my best interests at heart. 

When we are closed to feedback, we stop growing. How often do we really express our appreciation for our truth-tellers? 

Do we make it easy or hard for them to help us see reality?  

“Thank you for loving me even when I am not at my best.” CeCe always loves me, even if it’s tomorrow and I am regretting something she warned me about. Don’t we all need those people who love and support us even when we are not our best? I know I do, and I also realize that I do not tell them often enough.  

We impact people’s lives much more than we think. Every word of support, every note of appreciation and every act of love and caring touches people beyond our comprehension. This rang so true for me this week as I received a beautiful two-page, hand-written note from a 20+ year partner. He included a photo of all the notes, comments and words of encouragement I had given him over the last 20 years. Wow! I cried tears of joy. Yet, I also realized how many times he made a difference for our firm and me when I didn’t write that note or make that call

Let’s fill up the treasure box for those who make us #beEvenBetter and love us even when we fail.   

CeCe, where’s the suntan lotion?